I was recently asked to be best man to my best mate in the world. The one condition was my mate made me swear – NO jokes before the wedding. So on his stag-do, the night before the wedding and even in my speech I was on my best behaviour, but everyone had a great time so job done. I volunteered to check in on their house while they’re on honeymoon + 1 day I thought – “Technically, this is AFTER the wedding, right?” Before I go any further I should say 90% the tech is ripped from “The Twittering Office Chair” with a load of motion sensing tech added instead. So here’s the thing: the newlywed’s marital bed now has a pressure-sensitive pad underneath which now tweets everytime they get on the job. You’ll know when it starts, when it ends, the force, a rating on the frenzy index and a judge’s comment – all broadcast live to Twitter. What you will NEVER know is who they are. Or who I am.I figure I’ll tell my mate in due course that he’s had an audience.So spread the word! BTW – he stitched me up something rotten when he was my best man so I reckon this is reasonable payback They get back from honeymoon on Friday but if you see any reports come up before then we’re bug testing as of now. Enjoy!

http://twitter.com/newlywedsontjob

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy birthday”.

I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into the office, my secretary, Jane, said, “Good morning boss, happy birthday”. It felt al little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside an it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just you and me”.

I said, “Thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go”!

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”

She said, “Let’s go to my apartment”.

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back”.

“OK”, I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Viele Piloten scheinen viel Humor zu haben – was sie dabei zu oft vergessen: Passagiere schätzen die flotten Sprüche aus dem Cockpit ganz anders ein. SPIEGEL ONLINE hat außergewöhnliche Bordkommentare gesammelt, eingeschickt von Usern, denen angesichts der Durchsagen das Herz stockte.

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This memo describes an experimental method for the encapsulation of IP datagrams in avian carriers. This specification is primarily useful in Metropolitan Area Networks. This is an experimental, not recommended standard. Distribution of this memo is unlimited.

Overview and Rational

Avian carriers can provide high delay, low throughput, and low altitude service. The connection topology is limited to a single point-to-point path for each carrier, used with standard carriers, but many carriers can be used without significant interference with each other, outside of early spring. This is because of the 3D ether space available to the carriers, in contrast to the 1D ether used by IEEE802.3. The carriers have an intrinsic collision avoidance system, which increases availability. Unlike some network
technologies, such as packet radio, communication is not limited to line-of-sight distance. Connection oriented service is available in some cities, usually based upon a central hub topology.

Frame Format

The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff. The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier.

A band of duct tape is used to secure the datagram’s edges. The bandwidth is limited to the leg length. The MTU is variable, and paradoxically, generally increases with increased carrier age. A typical MTU is 256 milligrams. Some datagram padding may be needed. Upon receipt, the duct tape is removed and the paper copy of the datagram is optically scanned into a electronically transmittable form.

Discussion

Multiple types of service can be provided with a prioritized pecking order. An additional property is built-in worm detection and eradication. Because IP only guarantees best effort delivery, loss of a carrier can be tolerated. With time, the carriers are selfregenerating. While broadcasting is not specified, storms can cause
data loss. There is persistent delivery retry, until the carrier drops. Audit trails are automatically generated, and can often be found on logs and cable trays.

Security Considerations

Security is not generally a problem in normal operation, but special measures must be taken (such as data encryption) when avian carriers are used in a tactical environment.

http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc1149.txt

http://arianeb.com/dategame.htm